The rhythm of dining is essentially about timing: when you begin and finish eating, and the pace in between.
General Rule
A good principle to follow is this: avoid being the very first or the very last to do anything at the table. Dining is a shared, social experience, so it’s important to stay aware of those around you.
Arrivals and Seating
As a host, allow about 30 minutes between guests’ arrival and seating them at the table. This gives everyone time to settle in with a drink and conversation.
Courses
- Starter / First Course: 20-30 minutes. After clearing, wait around 10 minutes before serving the main course.
- Main Course: 35-45 minutes. After clearing, wait around 30 minutes before serving dessert.
- Dessert / Pudding: This course can linger as long as guests remain at the table.
When to Start Eating
Traditionally, guests wait for the guest of honour to begin before eating. In the past, men also waited for women to start first, though this is less common today. At most social gatherings, everyone usually begins together.
For larger events, the host may invite guests to start eating before all are served; it’s polite to follow their instruction. At very large functions with multiple tables, guests usually begin once everyone at their own table has been served.
Tip: It’s considered poor manners to start eating immediately upon receiving your plate, before others have theirs.
Pacing
Try to eat at a pace that matches the rest of the table. You may need to slow down if you’re ahead, or speed up if you’ve fallen behind while talking.
If you finish too quickly, pause with your cutlery in the proper resting position and resume when others are nearly done, so you can finish together.
Hosts should be especially attentive and aim to finish with the slowest guest, ensuring no one is left eating alone.
Finishing
The goal is to complete your meal at about the same time as everyone else. Place your cutlery together in the correct finishing position to indicate you are done.
Second Helpings
Wait for the host to offer seconds before taking more, even if food is served in shared dishes. Never help yourself mid-course. Once everyone has finished and the host offers, it’s appropriate to accept.
Tip: Always compliment the cook (if present) with something like, “The food was delicious.” Avoid remarks about your appetite, such as “I’m stuffed!” – these are considered impolite.
